Thursday, 12 November 2009

that was when i ruled the world

I am terrified of embarrassing myself.
It is why people think I am a quiet, studious child.
Fact is, I make a fool of myself on a regular basis when just with friends.
So why not everyone else?
Is it like some kind of defence mechanism - don’t let people in, and so forth?
I’m the girl who walks to work grinning ear to ear, and the girl on the bus looks like she’s in her early 20's, in the sunnies, cheek slightly pulled back in a lopsided grin as if she knows something you don't.
I dance in my room with the music pumped up loud enough I can’t hear myself think, and I’m sure the neighbours would complain except that their teenager went through this phase too - but his was always hard rock and metal. Mine is too.... 'Cept for the fact I don’t like metal too. Who cares, its noise, and it’s nice noise XD
I bounce around laughing, playing with my pup, and singing loud my favourite songs when I walk the older one. I’m the one in the daggy car with the window rolled down and the bass up as high as it goes, singing to snow patrol or MIA or something similar.

And you know what, if that is embarrassing............. I don’t care.
It makes me me and I love who I am. I love whom I am around. I love that I don’t fight like we used to, and I’m not as moody as I used to be (posts re this were deleted due to parental request after one was emailed to the principal and I got a phone call.... much humiliation had XD). I love that summer is here even though its mid November, and that I can run around in my bathers again and it doesn’t look out of place, I love that my room is TIDY, and that I’m still high off my first truly independent 'me' day, while still being productive.

Got the inspirational music from Coldplay belting thru the speaker next to me, making my skin tingle for some reason (harmonies do that to me). And as they have beautifully put 'that was when I ruled the world'. My friends, this time is coming again and I’m feeling so amazing that


  1. As a side note, before I begin, I must say kudos to the fucker who keeps rating these down... that's commitment buddy. You could be doing something intelligible, but no, you just click the check box on every arriving post...

    But onto the person that matters here: I don't really need to say much about this one Liv, you seem to have it all figured out to your contentment anyway!

    I did find it rather amusing that you got defensive about the idea of having a defense mechanism, but I agree with you here. If you're content to be you, then it really doesn't matter to so much of an extent what others think of you. Obviously it does matter to some extent, since you're not alone in the universe, but that said, you are a great person and I truly believe that anyone who does not respect you for who you are is not really worth your time. Of course, they can choose to not agree with you, but to think that you are embarrassing or not worthy of respect because of that is just not on.

    So you don't need to be defensive. These people, just like your anonymous critic who seems to appear without fail in that bottom right hand corner of your posts, are not worth your time (as such consistency of criticism would not come from someone who respected at least some of your views/writings). This critic's criticisms, so to speak, are not worth the paper they're written on.

    A faithful friend,
    not afraid to criticise, but not afraid to be supportive either,
    with love written on his arm...

    x{D <-- returns the moustachioed smile

  2. Dearest Jimmy,
    yes, i thought that was just an odd quirk, the whole only one dislike - its fair people get their own opinion oand if its not liked then so be it. but yeah, this is annoying. ive just stopped looking at that box.
    as for the rest of it, it makes my heart swell with pride to know i gots you in my pocket to keep my company thru it all :)

  3. PS. As a side note, the 13th is today's date, 13 is my lucky number, and 13^2 (169) is your number of 2009 posts. Coincidence? I think... eh. Probs.

  4. hahah thats really trippy as if you noticed that!!!!