"I look like a head in a tomato"

where do i start?
it's 1am on the dot. thats exciting.
not as exciting as me standing in front of my mirror an hour ago in my tartan mini and blck singlet and 5 inch heels, grinning like an idiot, thinking 'damn i'm hot', for no reason other than i can.
conceited? maybe. its just i havent feelt like that for a long time, and this new found confidence has brought so much to my life, i dont think i want to let it go.

i have a story here that was in the english exam that i read and almost cried, it's so beautiful. well, i think so. others may think otherwise. please read it, its no more than 800 words and worth the time.

am up talking to April...... again. and the title of this post is one product of this cnversation. as was the heels and mini (admittedly i was wearing the mini all day today. woo for hot weather). mega excited for her bday :) dunno whats happening but apparently i'm her bet now, so i need a collar and a name tag. bahahahah.

yesterday was one of the most incredible days ive had. just seems that one day after another is amazing when He is involved. lets face it, He's my muse right now, and He shant be named, but its blindingly obvious who i'm referring to. it's not the 'will you go out with me?' or the 'everyone, this is my girlfriend' that sticks in my head, nor the afternoon at the beach, or swimming in the river in my underwear because i had no bathers, but the feeling of a pair of arms around me, in the dead of night, where its too hot but his skin is cool, whispering 'mine' and whisper-singing to me ......that will be the memory i hold of the 18th of November.

i've never swum in the Murray before yesterday. it was great fun, but the mud was so ookie! and the glass shard i found wasn't reassuring, but i am definitley going to that spot again sometime really soon.

my car, as beautiful as she is, is a nightmare to drive because i'm terrible with hill starts and stalled 8 times or more at a busy intersection. all on my own. it was terrifying. but i got to the bridge fine, so i'm content.

i know these are all little paragraphs, and i apoligise, but its now 1.40 and i am exhausted and have very few thoguhts longer than this paragraph itself. :) arent i clever. serves me right for keeping such terrible hours. its gonna bite me on the ass soon..... i really need to go to bed at 10.30, just so i'm waking up before 11 and can do things with my cool daylight hours!

anywho... in summary, i have now proven that patience does pay off, and ask (nicely) and you shall recieve. all this angst about what was going through his head, and if i was wasting my emotional energy on soething that wasn't going to be worth it at all in the end.....
he is mine, and i am his, and thats the way i like it.the phrase 'i dont want to be monogamous for a while' was quickly followed by his introduction into my life, and this sentence was cracked wide open, seen to be rotten, and put in the bin. fact is, i love having a boyfriend... it's a matter of finding the right one, thats all. and i'm thrilled that his lop-sided grin, telling me he knows something i dont, is directed at me. and i wouldn't have it any other way.