Tuesday, 29 June 2010

According to my lecture notes on states of consiousness

"PET (positron emission tomography) scans show brain areas involved in colour reception active when hypnotised subjects are shown grey images but told theyre in colour:" 

 -- kinda brings a new perspective to the real vs fake debate of hypnotism, don't you think??

Three months

Just lke all the others, he's a little bt different. A different perspective, a different lifestyle, a different glint in those eyes.
And yet at the same time,things are the same, or better. No. Definitley better :) and I wonder if I've scored something truly worthwhile here. So I put a challenge to myself:
three months. Twelve weeks. And see if you can wrestle down the cold feet, coz something tells me this ones .... Well... something unique alltogether.

All my trust, and concern, and smiles, in this time....

He's the reason I'm so smiley all the time, and it's scary, but I'm not scared of the end, not in the slightest.
And, handcuffs or not, that makes all the difference.

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Hot Air Balloon

it's new, and unknown,
and expands like hot air into our balloon,
causing it to rise,
and float above the world,
with only the winds to guide where we go.
The cloth colours change as we converse, suiting the mood
and the topic at hand.
And even when it rains,
We have an umbrella,
and blankets,
and duck down low, out of sight,
huddled together, warm and dry
as the storms rage elsewhere.
And when the rain subsides,
and sunlight filters through the cracks in the basket,
we can rise again, and bask in the light,
warm, happy, and seeing the world
from a different
of view.
“The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. … The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant.”

There is a reason I love Doctor Who. That is it.

That quote right there, is why I live how I do, and how I manage to smile at the end of nearly every day.

Sunday, 20 June 2010

Things I've Learnt: Happiness

Happiness cannot, no matter how much it is desired, be sustained by depending on one person.
in the end, it only leads to heartache, pain, and a lost relationship, be that a lover, or a friend.
It certainly isnt made easier by those with a savior complex - they fuel the others need to be supplied with happiness, and my goodness it's draining.

Almost two years ago, I met a friend of mine, and I became his everything. For a while, he was mine, too. But I know that people are not the source of smiles - only ourself can do that. In the end, I had to do the worst, and snap that emotional crutch in half. He was shattered by it, absolutely devastated, and it killed me that I'd done it. But in time he grew to understand why I did it, and respects me for those reasons. He learned not to do the same to others as he had me.
I'm the saver.
I gravitate towards those that need other people.

And yet, even though we only really need to rely on ourselves, others are key in reminding us of the good times, and the bad, so we always appreciate what we have, who we are, and who we have around us.
It gets mighty lonely without people, and as social creatures, being around people we like, IS a key part of happiness....... but there's a difference.

Time and time again I see, hear, read things that only enforce the idea that happiness is an inner-self-construction. Every chapter in my counselling textbook - each on a different psychotherapeutic perspective, all say the same things - everything is from the inside.

In other words - we cannot rely on others to make us happy.

We are the key,
And the lock.
It all depends on whether we can work out how they fit together.

Thursday, 10 June 2010

Procrastination is the parent of creativity

Avoiding my homework, and revision, makes me want to write, to sing, and to knit.
It's beautifully warm in the living area courtesy of my mad fire-making skills, and fast beats jump out of my speakers - it's hard to concentrate.
Perhaps, I will finish this one assignment, and then write a beautiful something.........
and then you get to read it :)

Tuesday, 1 June 2010

coffee is truly and amazing thing. after having drunk one about....... almost an hour and a half ago, it's finally hit, and now my fingertips are buzzing and i cant sit still. this is NOT a good state to be in whilst attempting to do things in relation to study and assignments.
however, combine this with excitement of driving to murray bridge to see some friends, and you have yourself a very hyperactive olivia, sitting at the computer, giggling to herself about her own thoughts.
not the most reassuring sight for onlookers, i can tell you.
i'm getting kinda annoyed that i cant type faster because my brain is moving at a million miles an hour and i'm just like RKJGHAIUGHGBLWB about everything :)

the weather is miserable, and i'm still sitting on the edge of a precipice, staring down the urge to jump.
but then this happy little thought comes into my head, that it'll all be okay.
and this is largely due to the caffeine, but that's alright. because i'm happy in this state. and laughing.
and that makes everything better :)