Sunday, 20 June 2010

Things I've Learnt: Happiness

Happiness cannot, no matter how much it is desired, be sustained by depending on one person.
in the end, it only leads to heartache, pain, and a lost relationship, be that a lover, or a friend.
It certainly isnt made easier by those with a savior complex - they fuel the others need to be supplied with happiness, and my goodness it's draining.

Almost two years ago, I met a friend of mine, and I became his everything. For a while, he was mine, too. But I know that people are not the source of smiles - only ourself can do that. In the end, I had to do the worst, and snap that emotional crutch in half. He was shattered by it, absolutely devastated, and it killed me that I'd done it. But in time he grew to understand why I did it, and respects me for those reasons. He learned not to do the same to others as he had me.
I'm the saver.
I gravitate towards those that need other people.

And yet, even though we only really need to rely on ourselves, others are key in reminding us of the good times, and the bad, so we always appreciate what we have, who we are, and who we have around us.
It gets mighty lonely without people, and as social creatures, being around people we like, IS a key part of happiness....... but there's a difference.

Time and time again I see, hear, read things that only enforce the idea that happiness is an inner-self-construction. Every chapter in my counselling textbook - each on a different psychotherapeutic perspective, all say the same things - everything is from the inside.

In other words - we cannot rely on others to make us happy.

We are the key,
And the lock.
It all depends on whether we can work out how they fit together.

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