Friday, 9 October 2009


i said today there was a world full of my pet peeves.
i realised just now that it's not necessarily so.
people come in all shapes and sizes.
up until now i've only ever really known one kind of person.
and then i got hurled into a world i know absolutley nothing about. it's scary, and daunting, knowing that this is how the other side of the coin looks, and knowing that i'm so inexperienced with this side that it would be so amazingly easy to be taken advantage of, and end up on the other end, bruised and battered, wondering why i didn't just stay at home.
it's everything i'm not.
and everything you are.
it worries me that that means there is little chance of this working out: people from separate worlds meet so rarely, and are compatible so rarely that it almost seems foolish to dream.
but there are stories that give us kids a reason to sit there on the swingset dreaming of a fairytale. think along the lines of Mary, crown princess of denmark.
it's the minority that influence the majority, of the message is powerful enough.
and this one's enough to tell me that it is time.
time to learn about the world i dont know.
about the clubs, about the drinks, about the tips friends running down the street yelling. about the sober friends running down the street yelling.

my life has been full of restraints, some self-imposed, some by others. rules of school, of home, of my parents. these are for the most part fair and make sense.
but its got to the point now where i want to break free and lose it.
to dance in the street, to wear my pooh bear hat outside and not be afraid of the looks i'll get.
those kids we see down the street, being loud and obnoxious and doing things that are almost certainly illegal... they know who they are, and they dont give a fuck who's looking.
don't get me wrong, the illegalities and occasional disrespectful attitude piss me off a lot of the time. but the attitude of 'who cares' is becoming rather appealing.
and i only have five weeks before i get to drop all these final restrictions.
november 13, at 12.15pm i am free of school and that routine.
five weeks to get grades and be awesome at school. and then three months to be myself, plus a little added crazy rebellion.

my impatience is growling and i suspect that mum was, again, right when she said that He would be a distraction.
i dont care. hes amazing.
and its 5 weeks. 35 days in which to stick my head down and work. and party hard. very, very hard, after.

cheers to that!

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