I sit here, having just woken up, tied up my hair and decided i am going to write a novel. Not literally, of course, but so much has happened both in reality* and my mind that A nice long post is deserved, especially since it is rumoured to be hitting upwards of 40 degrees on the Hg**. Theres several things i need to talk about, along with some somewhat useless crap, so i'll make it easy and divide it up into clear, easy to read english language ***
(Warning: LONG post. Use headings to find your way)
Have eaten so much of it in the last three days, that I've made a decision to eat almost nothing but veggies, and drink water, just to balance it out - my poor little tummy is not appreciating the stretching I am forcing it to do, nor the contents with which it is filled. So, back to boring old health food for moi : )
Have eaten so much food BECAUSE of Christmas. From previous writings you may have remembered that I loathe christmas at my place, purely because there is little joy, only lots and lots of stress, as well as grandparents that change conversation topic so fast that I'd be mid-sentence of something and she'll move on. Rather rude, and it sent me into a little bubble last year where I didnt want to talk to ANYONE. Eh. Was gonna happen eventually.
HOWEVER... not this year! My parents decided they would change tact (tack?) this year and go for a thing called organised chaos, rather than just ordinary chaos. To do this, they^ did ALL the preparation the night before. This meant that everything was easy on the day, such a nice change. The only little worry was the sweeping up of the courtyard, but me and my impressive broom skills cleared this little conundrum up in no time. Our entire meal came courtesy of Jamie Oliver and the fact that we like his recipes, so along with dad's 400 pages of notes he took from watching the DVD, we're all set! I did all the dishes after entree/lunch (my GOD we used a lot of stuff!! but I'm hella pro at dishwashing from work, so yeah : ) )
So the food was nice, the weather was nice for the first time in several years, I think... I try not to remember much.
My grandparents brought a friend, too, so there was a new face at the table. It was weird realising that they had friends and were almost as lively as me and my own. Weird. But yes, new face, and she was lovely, definitley enjoyed having her around and from the looks of it she may well be at next years, too : )
On that note, I met almost all my family on my mums side on Boxing Day (26th) - was Nana's 80th birthday down in Victor Harbour and so I met my aunt for the first time in miving memory, and saw the rest of them for the first time in years. Admittedly, my cousins and I have nothing in common and so it made conversation nonexistant- I get on better with my cousin Nick (other side of the family) purely because he's easier to talk to - its intimidating being 5'4", and the eldest, amongst people who are a minimum of 5'10". God, they both could be models, its ridiculous. Urgh oh well. The seating arrangements sucked ass but what can you do. It wasnt my choice. Nan doesnt realise that we're not children anymore. I had to actually yell at her once to get it through to her....
She had come over to stay for a week or whatever like she usually does when the school holidays clock round. I'm not sure what it was, but she was being really nitpicky about everything, but thats just the way she was with us for as long as I'd known her. However, at the age of seventeen once cannot possibly expect to be scolded about the state of ones bedroom, WHILE CLEANING IT, as though one was eight years old. So, naturally, this is precisely what she did. I was NOT happy, and damn well told her so, yelling down the hall that i was already doing it, and that I'm not a little kid anymore and to stop treating me like one. After that she left me well enough alone, especially since I had mum's support on that one.
But anyway.... we were down there for about six hours all up, didnt get home til about 7.30. Most of it was really really REALLY boring. But the food was nice, and I had a rather unexpected surprise waiting for me outside the pub: my boyrfriends mum.
3 a. Surrogate Family
Allow me, at this point, to explain some things about Karen. She's 41, has three kids and is a single mum. These three facts alone make her a hero in my eyes, considering that her kiddies are three of the most beautiful, not to mention genetically blessed, people I have EVER met (inside and out). She runs her household very, very differently to my own, and while this takes some getting used to, along with the flat-out honesty about everything, its certainly intersting to watch and be a part of. I met her properly the day that D asked me out and by some odd happenings, going out with him means I have actually gained a second family. To myself, I call her 'mum' because it feels weird to call her that aloud, but its basically what she is to me, even though I've not known her for nearly as long as I hope to. She is without a doubt one of the most loving people I will ever meet, and made me, a shy and comparitively quiet stranger, feel right at home amongst her brood.
While I'm on the subject, I may as well introduce the other two: Chloe and Gemma.
I'm not going to lie - Chloe was a bit if a shock to my system, purely because shes so different to my own sister (who is about the same age), shes rather smart (whether she shows it or not) and loves her music. I don't always agree with the things she says or does, but regardless of this, shes certainly grown on me as I'm around her without any guards up. She does nothing by half measures, is loud, has attitude and is the most beautiful, photogenic girl i have ever met, no joke. It makes a large number of people I know go rather green when they realise she isnt actually about 19. I find this rather amusing, because she's still someone that I'm fair certain I could go up to and say 'I need a hug' and I'd be launched at with exactly that, or ask her opinion and get a dead-honest answer. Cause fact is, we're comfortable (I think) with just existing, and if one needs the other, theyre there... if that makes sense. I forget who she is or her age or her past or her future purely because she's an equal. Love her not because shes gorgeous, or can take on any challenge (and probably win). Love her because shes lovable, even if this is embarrassing to hear : )
Finally theres Gemma. God, I just wanna take her home in my pocket! This could just be the fact that I rather like mucking around with her, or because she actually listens to me when I ask her to do something, seeing as few other people do. Without having ever met her, I got a hug upon stepping in the door, and this has since become the tradition. I love it. I also love the fact that she fits under my chin. Shes crazy strong for an eleven-year-old and we've been known to wander around the house via piggyback, because we can.
She's headstrong, but not to the extent that her brother and sister are, and I'm seeing some great potential in this little one. She's one to watch for the future.
If Daniel and I break up, without a doubt one of the hardest things I will ever have to do is give them up too.
I'm not sure what it is, but you change a single perception and your entire outlook on likfe gets skewed;. for example, ive been moping about for a lot of the past week, and it must be obvious to my parents. the reason i hae been doing so is because im not allowed out at night anymore. not really. i got grounded for it, and i understand why. its just a case of 'hmm do i follow my head, or my heart?' and my heart won out every time, purely because it as chosing between sleeping next to D, or being at home, effectiely on my own. Im pretty sure most people would pickbeing with their other half in this situation. i just manage or conveniently forget about how much trouble i'm going to be in when i get home. and so it built up. and exploded last tuesday. But now i finally know the exact extent of my leash and as such, am much more content. And in this, I was allowed out until 10 last night, to see April. A rather massive shock, i can tell you, seeing as the original time was 8.30, but dad, the grounder, extended it. **MEGA HAPPY**
We watched The Hangover, The Lion King (complete with rendition of the ENTIRE soundtrack... fuck it's been years since I watched that movie!!!). I met Chai, Chloe/Bella, Dyson, Jack, Cho and Jasmine. In order of appearence they are: a black newfoundland (HOLY FUCK she is huge! I got home and Rani looked TINY!), kelpie cross staffy, kelpie cross something, black cat, burmese cat, bitch-cat.
**Veggie overload after a week and a bit without them is not a good idea if you need a quiet gut**
We hung out at the old folks home waiting for Aprils friend/roommate Khris to finish work. We are so good at making our own fun it's almost a little concerning. Ended up hanging upside down from the handrails, laughing our heads off. I'm sure they heard us inside - I got rather excited. What can I say, first time out in a while, everything was funny!
5. The Late Hour
Can anyone else believe that it's going to be the end of the year in three days? I'm a little in shock, to be perfectly honest. WHERE DID MY YEAR GO?!?!?!?!?!?! Another year means another set of resolutions and another monumental shift in my life. 2010 is going to be one of the most turbulent years in my life, purely because it means that so much has to change. Uni, being a legal adult, getting my P2's, maybe actually being allowed to stay for more than the day in the Bridge.... the list goes on.
I'm not going to lie - I'm a little scared of it, but I know I have people around me that are going through the same stuff, or will support me no matter what, regardless of how tough it gets. So heres to that then, aye.
Well, I have reached the end of this particular rant, but will leave you with my sixth and final section
6. Random Notes
- I hate that I leave my phone on, not expecting calls or messages or anything, and then I get a call at 2.30 in the morning. Not happy. Resolution: be rather abusive when I DO answer these calls.
- Isn't teaspoon a funny word!
- I love the sunshine. Had a dream last night that all I was doing was standing in it and my skin was popping. Not literally, but like.... tingling. You know when you put cold hands or feet into warm water and it warms up your blood? Iell it was that, but ALL OVER. trippiest feeling ever. I loved it.
- I miss Justin. Am going to come down and see you at some point my darling friend because youve pretty much disappeared fo the face of the earth, and I know you will read this at some point. I also know that I've been pretty lousy in expecting you to make contact with me rather than me do it. So..... Resolution: call Jimmy
*then again the status of *reality* is really all up to the perviever, isn't it?
**Hg, for those of you who never paid attention in chemistry, is Mercury, and thus a thermometer.
***spelling mistakes are all part of the service.
^ the rest of my immediate family - i was having a depression-insuced anxiety attack in my room at the time