Went on a walk with Rani today, like we used to. She was panting away - I really need to get her fit again! Mind you, those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.......people in NORMAL houses shouldn't throw stones, especially of they have no insurance!......
Anyway... it was sorely needed because although I'm going to be sore tomorrow (Oh god, tomorrow. Will explain that in a moment), it gave me an hour or so to clear my head properly. The original intention was for me to think things through. I forgot how mind numbing the outdoors can be - the breeze just blew everything away for a while. I left the house feeling like I was going to cry. One hour, Six kilometres later, I returned, feeling soooooo much more at peace with myself, albeit considerably more tired.
I've been told by several people that I've changed. I think, really, what's happened is that I've began to express more of me, in a different manner.
I let go, somewhat, in the month since school ended. I'm not entirely sure when exactly, or what it is that I've let go, but I know I have, because I'm at the point now where I don't care, really. The apathy has set in. A (very) small part of me is worried that I'll get stuck in this mental setting. The rest of me tells that part to shut up because I'll be at uni full time in February.
Another part of me is telling to back off from the place that is quickly becoming a second home to me, so that I can keep it as just that. This is okay for now, because the next few days involve me working, which always makes me feel good because 1. I'm getting paid, 2. it fills in the day, and 3. gives me a purpose so I'm not feeling so lost all the time.
Tomorrow is one such day, but instead of one shift, it is two. Eight hours of bakery work ..... It may kill me, but it will certainly make my bank balance look nicer : )
And it means I have a reason to be 1. out of the house and 2. going down to Murray Bridge - for a fourth time in 8 days or something silly like that - to take my extra food stuffs like I promised.
And then I get to work tomorrow too ... ^ ^
Christmas in 5 days. Christmas eve in four. No work on those days, and no intention of coming home on the 24th after an xmas party in the bridge. will return at 9am or some other time involving getting up at silly hours. Here's hoping that i'm not grounded beyond belief for doing so. But hey, let's face it - there's only so much that a parent can take away from someone that is almost a legal adult. And it's worth the fight, this one time. It isn't going to happen again for a while, I think.
That's enough for now. I'll write again tomorrow (as always) - my brain is fried and i sense a migrane if i dont sleep, like, right now.