Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Cause If You Jump, I Will Jump Too.

From sitting on my bed, enjoying my evening, to in a strange living room with someone i've met for literally a minute, some three months previously. This is the way my days, er, nights, are heading, I suspect. I don't mind it - I'm just shy when I'm around people I dont know - all comes with the comfort level, I suppose, the more comfortable I feel around someone, the more animated I am. But put strange substances and total strangers I nthe mix and I will very happily become a wall flower, rather than take centre stage. These are, after all, some people I need to make some kinda good impression to, because apparently 'Home' likes to talk, and that bothers me a little. But hey, I'm new meat, it was going to happen.
So yes. Went to this guys place on a whim, after dad miraculously said I could, since it was 8.30 at night, I basically knew nobody there, or what was gonna happen. Mum did her usual protective thing, and didn't really want me going, which was fair enough. Were it my kid I'd certainly be wary... As it was, I was only there for about two hours, then went home, and was asleep by about 11.15, which suited me just fine - i was tired, and me plus tired plus chilly weather outside is not a good combination. Mind you, I'm still yawning now, at 10.30 the next day. I need to go to bed earlier, i think. even 11 is too late at the moment..... as opposed to the 3am i was keeping before.

I'm not sure if it's a good thing I get introduced as 'This is Olivia, Milky's girlfriend', considering the looks from the five strangers there. I mean, they're not strangers, I know of them..... (and I quite like a couple of them.), but the first thing I was asked is, 'Oh, okay, so do you know .......? Because she was talking about his gf, you, on friday night'

I had no idea who the hell they were talking about, and said so. Really, I should just say that I know about 8 people from M.B and four of them are related. Apparently I'm being talked about. Woo for paranioa setting in. O_o
Makes me wanna go back and ask what was being said. Probably that noone can work out how we work, being social opposites that we are.
My awesomely powerful psychic vibes are telling me that this will be our downfall: 'we're just too different'.
But that's suicide to start thinking about the end. And really, it is. It just sits uneasy with me, is all.

The weather today is disgusting, but the rain sure was comforting last night. it helped me sleep, oddly enough. I need socks, though - I'm cold, and cant do exercise because I am currently sitting on an island surrounded by a mass of damp wooly carpet. We had the carpets cleaned, and God's Ultimate Shitstirrer vomited on my carpet a few days ago, which meant that mine had to be done too........ at least I dont have to vacuum for another week or so ^^

Another set of circumstances, totally apart from the rest of my life, is folding out... and i'm not sure what to do about it. I'm not usually the object of someone's affections, or, not to my knowledge.It's not open for me to see, anyways. And this one is. And i feel terrible that i can't feel the same way back. Because thats what i do - absorb everyone else. It's why i don't read emotionally heart-wrenching books.

Speaking of which.....  I'm off to read The Heroin Diaries and braid Imis hair.

Much Love xox

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