Friday, 12 February 2010


One thing that always, always gets my back up is the suggestion of inferior intelligence on my part. In other words, being treated like an idiot. It doesn't matter if it's in good humour or if they're dead serious, it annoys me to the point of anger.

He was telling me the obvious, like I had no clue, even though I was already two steps ahead of him, and yet there he was, just lounging around like he was the king of the room. I was already hurt about the scene before me - who wants to see someone they care about, about to get it on with someone else - and didn't need reminding of it by some smart arse that I'd never met before then, who I didn't even know the name of. I couldn't take it anymore, and I whirled around, disrupting the whole thing, and they all just looked at me. I yelled at him to shut up, that I knew what was happening, and stormed out the room, only to spin around on the door frame and go back in the room, to hiss at him, vaguely hysterically, "I'm not an idiot. My TER, that I got when I finished school? I got 92! I'm smart! A fuckload smarter than you, so don't you dare treat me like an idiot."
And walked out.
I hated him.

And I didn't even know who he was, other than a friend of a friend, who thought he was better than me.

It doesn't help the resting side of things when you start screaming at people in your sleep. I don't feel rage anywhere other than my dreams, but last night's was so ... upsetting, I'm still feeling funny about it now, and I don't really want to leave the house because that means starting my day, seeing people for the next 12 hours straight. In short, that dream turned me into an agoraphobe. Just for today.

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