It's this feeling that I miss the most, when you catch yourself smiling at nothing at all, when you take a peek at your thought process and realise that the majority of it has someone's name flying around and around and around.
I think I've finally let go enough to give what I gave to someone else.... Because new people are exciting, even if they're the most ordinary people on this earth, and I met new people that make me feel special. I'm not the most physically affectionate person in the world, I'm more content to receive hugs than initiate them, simply because that's the way it's always been with me and those around me. And yet, I feel the need to BE cuddly. It's all a little bit upside down.
A part of me wonders how much is real and how much is transference. Another part tells me to be patient and know him better to make sure this is going where I want it to go. The rest of me is just enjoying the attention and knowing that I'm wanted as a person. You get called perfect and its like 'yeah right, you just havent seen my flaws' but still, it's kinda nice to know that you made an impression.
Sad, I know.
But he's nice, really nice. No smokes, or drugs, and I'm just like.... yay!
I'm thinking 'yay' with everything I am at the moment. Cause all I have to do is get a message from this guy and it sends me flying and smiley and makes me think 'yeah, I deserve better than what I was pining after, there's better people out there, and I think I found one.'