"Well...?" he looked at me questioningly, waiting for my answer.
"I... I don't know, Jay." it was all too hard at this moment in time. he smiled sympathetically at me, reached up and put a warm, soft palm on my cheek, which I gratefully rested my aching head against. it was times like this when I remembered the exact reason I had fallen in love with him in the first place: it wasn't the answer you gave, it was how you gave it, and how, no matter what that response was, he would always be there to pick me up if I fell suddenly, which i had, further, harder and faster than ever before.
A fat tear fell from my eyelashes and onto my skin, rolling down my cheek and onto my lips. He took me up into his arms and held me tightly, kissing me along the trail of the tear, ending on my lips. I clung on to him as though i would die if i ever let go. In hind sight, if i had let go, i may well have done just that. i was nothing but a shell of a person, consumed by grief, sadness and regret.
He parted from me and looked into my eyes, "Luce, we have to go. we have to be honest. i know it was an accident. they don't. we have to tell them what happened."
I nodded and blew my nose as he let go of me. I pocketed the tissue and gripped his hand tightly as he led me up the garden path to the wooden gate and to the car.
"I'm not leaving you, you know?" he said quietly as he turned out of the driveway and onto the busy street. I chose not to answer: after what I had done - I deserved all that was in my hands, resting empty on my lap.
"Did you hear me?" he said, louder, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to look at me, "I'm not going anywhere."
"I heard." smiling wetly as another fat tear rolled down my face. I laughed suddenly, wiping away more tears, rubbing my swollen belly tenderly as Jay pulled into the car park and got out to open my door for me. I took his hand and together we walked through the doors to the consequences of my actions: my reckoning.