We cannot escape this falling, despite how we try.
It starts as a feeling, small and feeble. then it grows, sucking you in until you're in so deep that you think you will drown in it, that you will never get out. And in truth, you never really do get out of it, not even if you float to the surface and scramble for the edge.
If we're really lucky, we fall gradually, to patience and kindness and an understanding of you that only you and them possess.
If we're not so lucky, we fall so fast and carelessly, it feels like we've been hit by a train. Sooner or later, that speeding fall disappears until all you're left with is a gold ring, an argument and legal papers.
I miss the free fall. I miss the giddy smile after receiving a flower, the bubble of happiness that floods my chest when they say my name and smile.
I've been officially 'single' for a whole year now. I'm now officially missing the cuddles. but I can't complain, really: I've felt something for a boy that I never felt before, and while I've felt more pain during those times than i ever thought possible, I loved the times when it was good.
I know I'll feel like that, and then some, for some other boy one day.
But today is not that day...
as for tomorrow..... we'll see...