Tuesday, 30 June 2009

all and none

isn't it funny how things can just.... sneak up on you?
this will be my 170th post in under 2 years.
my 7th year of being at my current school.
my 17th birthday.
certain coming-of-age things.
year 12.
June, July, and the rest of this year.

so i sit here, listening to Moonlight Sonata, contemplating where the time went and how i'm possibly going to fit in everything that i have to, into 2 weeks, with a few days left spare to not work.
in a word: yuck.
certainly not impossible, but, well, we shall see.....

overview from an emotional standpoint- the point of mentioning things sneaking up.
this is so not the time to put added emotional and physical stress on onesself. however, this is what i, and others, have done. and as my homeroom probably noticed, it all got a bit too much today. though i knew He was okay, and that it would be fine, cut ankle and all, it scared the bjeebers out of me, since i'm places in a somewhat self-imposed cage of non-contact.

i wonder some days if i should have moved schools in year 10 when i was seriously considering it, what with tiring of Falsies and fights and internal power struggles etc, but i didn't, and its much too late now. i'd have gone to one of the senior colleges, probably USC, like we're thinking about for Imi, or it was suggested. as it stood, i knew that as soon as year 11 started, it was too late - its almost suicide to start a new school in year 12, its too stressful, and because of my schollarship, i have to give 12 months notice before un-enrolling (is that a word?). bah humbug.
oh well, trial exams in 2 weeks, and then only like... 10 weeks til the actual exams. holy mother of god where did that come from? it's been sitting in my shadow, quietly following me, and now when im least expecting it, it has jumped out and whispered menacingly into my ear 'i'm coming to get you....!!'

which reminds me (dont ask how)..... Bessie's Guide for Girls who want more from life, by Bessie Bardot, is a fantastic book and extremely helpful. a definite must read for girls.
and on this note, i will but thee adieu.

peace out.

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