sometimes i hate that i react in such a way as i have now. i guess it's just as well that i do not see their face, nor them mine in the reaction process of digesting new information.
it really kicks me around that emotions get thrown around by those closest to me. but i know full well now not to voice my opinion for fear of deeply offending them. well.. that and i know that if I do I deserve a medal for hypocrite of the century.
so i guess I'll air my frustrations on here. even though ive been on both sides of the tracks and know what's going on regardless....

heartbreak. sucks.
even the healing process hurts.
and i see now the reason that the 'rebound girl' exists - we can't just get rid of feelings. its a case of the transferrence syndrome - move it asll onto the next viable candidate.
you'd think that by now i myelf would know not to do it. well, im trying. doing quite a good job i think. not to blow my own horn or anything. but regardless of that. because im this close >< to being over all that false sentiment, that im angry. at myself, at those around me. one of the steps i guess. im angry that i was that stupid, and im angry that those others wont see sense. but hey, whatever. it's not my life.
it never was.
why bother trying to change it...
when help was never wanted?

oh, and that last post was my 100th. i thought that was rather monumental :) i wonder how many words there are in that? ill find out one day i think its about 30 000. ^-^

20 minutes