Friday, 2 January 2009

Review 366

Well.... I guess I have to write it aloud (?) sometime:
It's 2009, the product of 366 days of 2008 (yes, it was a leap year).
I learned a lot.
I still have a lot to learn.
I thought I kept my cool pretty well this year. There were times, I'll admit, when I wanted to totally lose it at everyone. Sometimes, I did. But not many times. Nothing like the past three years, which was good.
There are three times that I can remember really and truly crying. Not the occasional tear at the movies, but being totally overcome. One was overdue grief. One was because I felt like I was being pushed around, ignored and totally railroaded about my own life. The last one was about a boy. In that order. All three of which, I wrote about in some way or another.
I've made new friends, begun the irreversible, slow, painful split with others, smiled more times than I can remember and done better in tests than, like, ever.
I'm no longer the go-to girl in class. That's fine. I can still get away with almost everything. On the odd occasion, it does pay well to be a partial teachers pet.
I met people I will never forget. Pete. Tony. I found a best friend in an ordinary one, one of the nicest people I have EVER met.
The ongoing drama of the on-again, off-again relationship finally ended once and for all. It's a relief, I guess. Though I'm still single and in want of a cuddle buddy to call my boyfriend. The leaders for our year were named. I didn't get in. I was pissed. Oh, there's the 4th time I cried. Not over the white blazer, of not being able to look special, different, instead, I was upset that I didn't get the chance to make a difference in terms of the house cup. Though, if I had done more sport I think I may have won in. But also, I'm a fairly carefree person, at least to those not in my head (which is everyone who doesn't read this... so... lots of people). So, maybe I seemed unfazed by the outcome. Not true. Though, it happened. But like mum said, it's hard to be okay, to not to be upset when you have your heart set on something and that something doesn't happen.
There were stupendous fights, and times when I've not been able to breathe for all the laughing.
We got a dog, sorry, a smiling thug (hes so big now it's hard to believe I used to be able to pick him up with three fingers supporting him).
I got a perfect exam score, a teapot and a cupcake with a candle in it.
And I think the most important thing I've done all year, is actually pay attention to this blog. To write on it religiously whenever something in my life is worth me thinking about more than 5 times in an hour. It's been my therapy. My savior. In a twisted sense of the world, its been my God. Someone to talk to when I get stressed or hyper, or feel like having a good hard bitch about society. My friends and families door into my mind to see the psychotic little elf that's working the controls.

Well, that's 2008.
This is the here and now: 2009.
The final year of school, the year I grow up the most. I have to, if I want to travel overseas solo.
No more airy-fairy Livvy. I want to get into uni, travel, and get along with my peers. It's so hard to do sometimes. I guess it's okay though, because, in the extreme, if I don't want to, I'll never have to see some of them again. Which is kinda a sad thought - I've spent the last...... 6 years with these people. And I'm about to embark on my 7th.
Lucky 7.
Most prosperous number, apparently.
Let's hope so, because I have to get a TER score of over 96.5 to get into what I want at uni. But I have my heart set on it. I'll get it if I'm determined enough.
And I am.
Just you watch me shoot through the stars and hit my head on the universe. This is my year to make a difference. And believe me, it will be different.
40 minutes

1 comment:

  1. That last bit there, well said. :)
    I'm sure you'll be able to acheive whatever you set your heart on.