Unsurprisingly enough, I associate my life with a book. Shocking, I know.
My world begins to move at an amazing pace.
Things are changing; I am changing.
We're suddenly a lot older than we were two months ago.
There's the formal, jumpers, hair getting longer (which as superficial as it is, makes me unerringly happy) and even new people.
We are not yet three full weeks into the final year (I count a week ending on Sunday) and there have already been tantrums, jobs, assemblies, god-worshipping in a too-small chapel and a strange new friendship which I find that I exist in with increasing enjoyment.
This is my record to the world. My record to myself. The advantage of this is that it forces me to censor some aspects because it is read by a lot more people than I first thought and I don't want people to know every thought I have about people and life in general.
The Desk is sitting on the other side of my room, cleaner now than it has been all year. It would look even more so if I didn't have a HUGE enormous calendar place mat sitting on it, obscuring the glass top :D
But that's okay - for now, I'm happy with where I stand. It's easy to forget the hard times with one is too busy floating on the good stuff in life.
Tests began today and the continue from now. The persistent pressure to do well is actually ulcer-inducing, which is impressive considering I deal with a LOT of stomach-related issues and always end up okay after them. I blame the presence of dairy in almost everything I've ever eaten, or that's currently in the cupboards.
And despite the uplifting sense of life I now hold within my hot little hands, there is an undercurrent of a new development that leaves me wondering late at night, if this is reciprocated or if Ii am being, once again, a little too forward with things. It's hard with quiet people - I seem to attract the shyer ones, probably because I have a hard time talking to people that are as shy as I am, or worse, even shyer. that's the beauty of the Internet - there's little social awkwardness, and I'm not afraid to make a fool of myself because I can say things how I want them to sound (most of the time) - like on here.
I keep getting asked to translate from Livvy to English, which is great because it means that I'm succeeding in my quest to say what I need to, without giving away what on earth I am actually talking about, which is great when it's a delicate topic, as some in this post are.
I'm torn between yelling my outspoken opinion, and sitting back and quietly stewing on it. Sadly, I have enough diplomacy and tact within the folds of my pockets to rant and rave in private, where only my family have to listen to me hurling obscenities about some recent happenings.
Now, don't get me wrong, the fact that I was on the upper end of this had totally nothing to do with it, but I believe that throwing a temper tantrum because one did not receive what they believe they deserved, I find childish and obscene in a modern world, particularly a school. Those that know what happened will know exactly what I am talking about. There is the delicate situation of me worrying about what I say in case it offends said person's second half, a dear friend of mine, so I fumed as silently as I could the first day, and have dark thoughts now rather than dark words. That's okay, I think said person knows where I stand on the issue, and that is that she stands alone. No support from me this time, nor the other pair, as I am led to believe.
It seems that I am not the only one that HATES having words put in my mouth. Granted, I lresent it more than the others, but it deeply offends me when I have my own voice taken from me. But hey, that's okay. That's their life, not mine, I get to be the big kid who's not as amazing at the science / maths scene but rocks with words and a good dollop of paint - you should see my art folder, the most common response was 'wow' and 'woah'.... *melts into a happy puddle* There really is nothing like peer approval. Many thanks to Kyle for removing it from the drying cupboard so I wouldn't have to miss out on my Legal Studies test :) :)
Wow this is a long post... I've just been writing non-stop for.... 30 minutes straight. I feel quite proud of that - the last time I did that was the other day when I discovered that my school email has finally succumbed to the plethora of technical errors plaguing the school's network, and I lost a 1200 word assignment. I've never been that angry at a computer before.
Well, on that amazingly pleasant note, I will actually bid you all adieu.
I know, it's heart breaking news to hear that, since it may be another fortnight before I write again, though I hugely doubt it since I'm having a rather eventful weekend, this one: going to the gardens, then a swimming exam, then a short film festival :)
So yes, farewell and thankyou for reading such an obscenely long post, i suspect only the truly faithful would have read up to this point.
Oh, another thing - I have NO IDEA what name to put on my year 12 jumper. If you have any suggestions, please comment them onto this post :) Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!
I love you forever :)
P.S - look, all the big words in my title are 'L' words. That is the letter of the day - even 'letter' starts with 'l'
hahaha sorry - too much sugar.
I'll press 'publish' now.......