...Sigh...

i'm in a weird mood at the moment...

i'm realising all sorts of things....

some are good.

some are bad.

the good:
i may actually be becoming the person i want to be...
it wasnt so hard. smile at a friendly face, say hi in the corridors, take an interest in what people are saying.
i like making new friends.

i'm temporarily over my moments of doubt over this whole 'i love you' debate. right now, i dont care if its real or not. it feels too good. i want to be like this forever.

the bad:
my mum brought forth a point while i was driving home the other day, which doesnt sit right with me. indeed, it actually fits right with the symptoms of the situation... but i dont like to assume that i'm so popular as to be a love interest for every guy i know. thats stuck up, and im not a narcissist.
its not a good thought though, to know that someones intentions could have been unhonerable fowards onesself.
oh well, she's right. it will never be what it was. i just have to move on.

i'm addicted to the computer. i need to get away from it, from msn, for a dew days. i guess the fact that the only way i can communicate with some of my closest friends is via msn, doesnt help at all. indeed, thats why i leave it on all day.

and the hole:
i use that term because i feel like theres a hole inside of me that i dont know how to fill. secretly, im waiting for exams to be over before i really get stuck into this idea of filling the hole. clean my room, buy a diary, go runnin, lay in the sun listening to music. lay on my floor listening to music. buy cd's, see hannah.
thats why theres hole. and im just trying to fill it until they can....