Sunday, 10 May 2009


Every now and again, most of us get caught up in the trap of thinking the world revolves around us.
But the fact is there are millions of people out there, all with their own trials and tribulations.
It’s not until an unusual event that it really occurs to us.
To me.

There was a philosophical post here, and I suspect there will be again, as it is, I have somewhat lost my enthusiasm.
I’m racked with worry. Not for me, this time, but for a friend, who's close to fires that sound something like the Victorian ones from earlier this year.
You know who you are and you know that I worry, but ..... As unlikely as it is...
the prospect of losing a loved one, an irreplaceable loved one, is naught short of terrifying.
So, this time, this is a post for you.
Because these past few weeks taught me a few things
that the heart DOES grow fonder with distance. And without those people there, it’s kinda....... empty.

I deal with colours. Reds and cool purples, and blues, but most of all I deal with bright, vibrant greens, and yellows, and somewhere in between.
He is that bright green, so bright it’s almost fluorescent. And there’s blue. Clean. Pure. Bright, saturated. Azure blue.
I think.
And when he’s not there, I lose that green in my life. Not totally, but enough to notice the absence.
Enough to remember the flood of pink and orange when we DO talk.
Enough to remember the hours upon hours we used to spend talking about anything and everything, now close we were, and are.

I believe in soul mates.
Logically speaking, in terms of compatibility, there are enough of us on Earth to have at least one matching chemical structure with another person. Sometimes it’s a boy, sometimes a girl. But that chemical compatibility, I believe is what makes a soul mate.
I was once told: 'even if it's tough now, wait for university, there you will find people you truly bond with, it’s where you’ll meet your lifelong friends, some of them'
and I hold onto that.
But as I get older, I realise that there are some here already. Ironically, none are the ones I traditionally spent my days with. I’m much too much of a personality / values / opinion clash to fit in, and God knows I’ve always known that, deep down.
But here, in this person, in him I find the friendship equivalent of a soul mate. Someone you can fight with, and cry with, and goodness knows I’ve done that, and laugh and talk with. I call him Conscience a lot of the time, if I recall something he's told me.
He’s a mentor, and a friend, and family all at once. Because he knows more of me than anyone else that I’m still close to. Only one other knows the hidden. And he is the last. It dies in the furnace with me.
But that's beside the point.
What was the point?
Was I spilling forth my adoration for a particular friend?
I think so....
but I note, I must be careful with my choice of words here because it can sound an awful lot like me talking about a boyfriend, if I word it wrong, even though it’s so totally not the case.
(That’s what chichi's for XD) so, with all the love I can possibly muster for a friend, he is it.
You said offline messages... well, this is offline, or I will be in a moment. So I think this counts.
Stay safe.
30 mins


  1. hi nice blog i like it and i hope you will join my blog maybe we can help each other.


    Worry's good and natural and fair and fine, so long as it's reasoned. And by reasoned, I mean both in its existence and its scope. Firstly you need to worry with a rationale, and quite clearly you have that here. And secondly, you need to not let it run out of hand. While fires are devastating, the risk of death from fires is considerably low.

    Also, soulmates are good fun. I need to find some. Where'd you get yours? Do they come in value packs?

    I hope this person reads your blog. I know I gain a lot from it. So long as you don't churn up unwanted gunk, I reckon you should keep blogging for a very long time. Tis helpful blogging here. Unlike mine. But I return to the topic of me.

    I hope that this person is alright in whatever they come across, and I hope you're alright in managing your worry. Hopefully blogging will soothe your nerves! Good luck, best wishes, all that jazz!