Book I've been reading said that you gotta have these breakdowns to break through them.
She was right. good ol' Mish ^^
Idol of mine.
But yes, it is. My tummy is still there, and there is cellulite on my legs and it makes me cringe to look in the mirror when I'm getting changed. But I know what I have to do now.
And NOW, only now, do i have the true motivation.
Life sucks when you're living under a rain cloud.
So, I know what its like to hate what you exist as.
And I don't know if its because of said breakdown over said self-esteem issues that I've been getting all these positive comments, but I think it may be because, for one night only, I was a normal, beautiful, teenager, taking part in normal teenager activities, dancing to popular music, singing along, laughing with friends, enjoying the drink and food, and LIVING.
The fact of the matter is that i am tired of living like crap. of FEELING like crap.
and so it changes from now.
I exist as me.
I embrace that i have issues, that I don't like things about myself, that somedays I am down.
It's very hard to stay so happy all the time.
But I try.
And as it currently stands, I like the feeling of having arms around me and a whisper in my ear, giving me goose bumps, telling me that I'm loved and I'm fine just the way I am.
If I change, I change for ME.
And this is what I shall do.
So onwards, into the future, into desired reality, into my life, the way I want it!