Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Eyes Wide Shut.

Had I seen this rule 6 months ago I wouldn't have believed it. If I'd seen Rule 6 ...
I would have thrown my computer across the room: nobody wants to know they're not wanted.
However, 185 days, 6 sessions and many many tears later, and I see it: the good in goodbye, and the good in not being wanted. 
Sometimes you get so stuck in a routine that you forget that there are other things out there: this isn't all there is. There's more to life than being miserable, clinging onto something that 1. Died months ago, and 2. Wasn't really deserving of your precious time or effort in the first place.

Found out last night I was half the reason Mike came back to Adelaide from Queensland. The guy is like the make lead in a chick flick, playing out in my reality. The cynic in me whispers in my ear not to be swept away with words, but the sincerity in those eyes makes the little workers in my head stop laying bricks and set down their trowels and mortar. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop: nothing is ever this good without a catch. What goes up must come down, .... right?

But then I think, at what point do we start thinking like that, though? How much disappointment must be endured before everything has to have a bad side attached? Sure, everyone has their less.... personable... side. But things can be all good, can't they? I have a hard time believing it. Maybe because some inner alarm system is threatening me with the reminder of what happens if you wander blindly into situations akin to a  venus fly trap.

I guess the solution is to tread carefully, and to have faith in the hand that leads you. Enter through the doorway with eyes wide shut.

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