....

sometimes i wonder if this guy has a camera into my life and is drawing it...



comic courtesy of xkcd.com a fantastically hilarious comic site for those who get the humour.

My State of Calm

It's still, the only movement is the gentle flowing of blue and orange around me. the world feels like a flat expanse that goes on forever. beyond the blue and orange, there is only white. Its like a veil I cant see beyond, its so absolute in its existence.
There is nothing else around. just me and the blue and orange waves of colour surrounding me. They're not threatening, they can't hurt me - there's no body to hurt. I exist, but there is no physical proof of that. I can see, but I have no eyes. I must have a consciousness - I know I exist. I know I can't move. I just stay stationary as more rippling shapes fade into view. green and purple. red and yellow. pink and orange.
They're all stretched in rows, waving and twisting, all pointing on the same direction, then they move towards me, enveloping me in bright colour. I am warm and content - the colours slowly swirling around me are relaxing me into a state of calm where I close my eyes and the white fades into dark and I rest, knowing that when I open my eyes again, I will be with the ribbons of colour once again.

Happiness

Happiness is like a bubble that rises from my stomach (the origins of all my feelings, apparently) and expands in my chest until I cannot hold it any longer and it spills out of me in the form is a smile, a laugh or a really right hug.

It’s green and gold.

Don’t ask me why - I have no idea whatsoever.

It's drinking hot chocolate lying on a friend’s bed reminiscing about when we were kids

It's talking to someone and realising that you sound exactly like your favourite comic

It's lying on the grass cool grass, smelling the dirt and grass in the air after running around with the dog

It’s the feeling that sends me so high that all my strings are taut and threatening to snap, sending me soaring into the air, flying over all the sad or miserable people of this earth.

I am one of those people sometimes, but then I remember that summer is coming.

Summer is the highlight of my existence - it is a perpetual happy-bubble for three months straight.

The trees are green, the air is warm, and me and Hannah lie on the grass in the middle of the oval and eat grapes fresh from the supermarket, the sun beating down, laughing.

This is happiness.

Total bliss

I have a friend

I have a friend.

This doesn't surprise most people, but it is surprising to me that such a close bond may be formed while enduring the ups and downs of senior high school. Tests, exams and the constant stream of irritations during class leave me one hell of a cow sometimes. The fact that he just takes my moods in his stride and adapts to it amazes me.

I don't know why we are such good friends - he loves music, manga and his cat panda, while i love to paint, write and study the mind. i'm also NOT a cat-person (with the exception of a beautiful big ginger cat called Rosco).

The fact that we befriended each other in the midst of a mass rubbish-pick-up is the most likely indicator that this was not going to be an ordinary friendship. Well, not by my other friendship's standards, anyway.
We've done the motions of flirtation, but friendship is more fun - theres no danger of hurting his feelings with the fact that im a natural flirt.

His wicked and quirky sense of humour often has me in stitches and yet he can being me back down to earth gently when my strings are cut and i float too high.

I am envious of the way in which he is able to accept things and adapt to them without too much comment, and how, until i demanded that he stopped, he would open the door for me (he still waits for me to enter before he does, despite persistent vocal opposition).

I hope that everyone is lucky enough to find that person among their own lives. They are never in the obvious places - i have known him for 6 years, but until 3 years ago i never bothered to get to know him.

In short, i am so lucky to have him as my best friend, and when i grow up i want to be as kind, gentle, strong and loyal as he is.

I Miss

I miss the old times.
When it was summer.
So hot that there was little to do but lay in the cool green grass and stare at the sky.
We would laugh and laugh over the smallest of things.
I miss those times.

I miss the times when all it took was one look into your eyes for someone to know.
Know what, exactly, i have yet to uncover that.

I have a memory that i don't even know whether its real or not. I suspect not, but it is one of the happiest things i can think of at this present time...

Its warm on my face, and too bright to keep my eyes open, so they are closed. i can see the leaves moving above me by the change in pink intensity on my eyelids. although the sun is warm, the grass is cold, and the breeze makes me shiver.
A hand slides up and down my arm in an attempt to warm me. i smile, eyes still closed. the hand laces its finger through my upturned palm. i take the hand and kiss the back of it, still not moving from my position. my head jerks up and down suddenly: the warm tummy i had been resting on laughed. i sit up as he does and smile at him: his presence here feels so natural, so normal, that it makes the experience all the more special.
His face is lit by the sunlight filtering through the trees, lighting up his eyes, making him all the more amazing.
He leans into me and i to him. our lips touch, remembering one another. then we lay down again on the grass, content and happy.

i miss these times.
let summer come again, and with it light, happiness and a feeling of such content, i could melt into the sunlight.