wishes

Just a note, because its 11.45 pm here, and about 5.15am there...

So we're on the same day....

Happy Birithday Pete ^^

Hope you have a good day.

Out of all the people I've ever met, theres never one quite like you.

So thanks.

Maybe I'm making a bigger deal of this than is right, but hey, it's a big thing.

Just wanted to show that.

All my love.

heating and flags

so, yet again, the crossroads analogy comes into play here.
though in this case its not so much a cross roads as me flying full speed at a rope suspended over a calm river, hoping that ill catch it and fling myself into the centre, where i wont get hurt, only submerged in the cool water, where the view is alien to me, yet facinating all the same.

bringing life to a page,
bringing a smile to a face.
new faces, new names
same old work
same old life.

and that was my contribution to contemporary poetry that brian loathes so much :) lol don'tcha just love me?

well, i have a lot to write, and no energy to do so. its this heat. its FINALLY getting to me. as a rule, i love the ehat and think that the cold can go warm up its toes in hell. but so far its been upwards of 42 every day this week. i drank aobut 3L yesterday. im turning into a little water treatment facility.
well, went to goolwa on australia day. for the first time in forever i am actually feeling patriotic. i mean, i love australia and i know jsut how lucky i am that i live here, but ive never had the inclination to yodel it from the rooftops. until now. but thet;s more of a desire to go and sunbake on the roof with my friends.
speaking of rooves, ours ws 70C the other day in the sun. ouch. sucks to be a tiler right now. the beauty of it is that its cooler here in the hills than it is on the adelaide plains.

well, i have a long post about lollypops in my head that ill do later.
until then,
sayonara.
Olivia

The Fighter

Fighter, fallen
Thin line of view
View disappears, then reappears.
Rattling, sharp, heaving
A stab into the torso
With each inhalation.
Brown horizon vertical
Three protusions horizontal
Two brown, one silver.
The silver's tip tainted
Tainted with the fighter
The view disappears again
Shuffling, slink, strech of leather
The brown protusions
Are close when the view reappears
View changes, with difficulty.
Metal sphere, cut and dented
Two green orbs, surrounded by silver
Widen, then narrow.
Pink contracts, limbs lift.
Pierce, crunch, cheer.
View blackens, disappears.
Rushing noise, sigh.
It's cold. warmth seeps out
From the raw void
Of broken protection.
Who knew that warmth was red?
Lifeless and silver on the floor.

Faith

i don't have any particular reason for writing tonight, but the discovery of a new friend lead me to this.
meeting new people, for the most part, increases my awareness of the nasty side of life. it causes me to lose faith in humanity. for all the horrible things that have happened, have been caused by us. though it all balances out, because while ther are some truly terrible people out there, there are also some inherently good ones too.
well, on this particular occasion, my faith in humanity has been lifted. i always believed that it was in the past eras that people sat down and discussed ideals, beliefs, hell, its all philosophy. but now, i get to be a part of it all. which figures, since that seems to be the primary focus of university on their side, from what i can gather.
every conversation, i learn something new. tonight i learned more about religion, the divine hierachy to be more precise. and sleep paralysis. that was the most interesting - anything to do with the body or mind and i instantly prick up my ears, it totally facinates me.
but yeah.
meeting new people amazes me - lets me in on what the world's like. some people are straight up and down in the way they conduct themselves. theyre the best ones i reckon. others are a little bendy. im a bendy one. and then theres the ones who went off the rails forever ago. im not a fan of them much. but hey, its their life, not mine. im not going to lecture, nor preach. as much as i like doing so. i realise that it isn't my place to do so. not yet, anyway. i'll never become a church leader, but maybe if i end up where i want to be, people will listen to the things i say. but thats for another day. i leave you now, with just a portion of the muddle that is my current mental state.

Cheers,

Olivia. The Monkey.

30 mins

sometimes i hate that i react in such a way as i have now. i guess it's just as well that i do not see their face, nor them mine in the reaction process of digesting new information.
it really kicks me around that emotions get thrown around by those closest to me. but i know full well now not to voice my opinion for fear of deeply offending them. well.. that and i know that if I do I deserve a medal for hypocrite of the century.
so i guess I'll air my frustrations on here. even though ive been on both sides of the tracks and know what's going on regardless....

heartbreak. sucks.
even the healing process hurts.
and i see now the reason that the 'rebound girl' exists - we can't just get rid of feelings. its a case of the transferrence syndrome - move it asll onto the next viable candidate.
you'd think that by now i myelf would know not to do it. well, im trying. doing quite a good job i think. not to blow my own horn or anything. but regardless of that. because im this close >< to being over all that false sentiment, that im angry. at myself, at those around me. one of the steps i guess. im angry that i was that stupid, and im angry that those others wont see sense. but hey, whatever. it's not my life.
it never was.
why bother trying to change it...
when help was never wanted?

oh, and that last post was my 100th. i thought that was rather monumental :) i wonder how many words there are in that? ill find out one day i think its about 30 000. ^-^

20 minutes