so.
i'm not sure where to begin.
lets start with the thing most on my mind (mind you its a very close call, there):
i have a LOT to do re uni and i'm not entirely sure what it is i need to do. i'm too unorganised. so, this is what i shall be doing once I have posted. 4 folders, many, many pages reading, all for tomorrow. It'll be a case of get up early tomorrow, print everything off at the office, and then read read read. thankfully its lectures, so noone's going to know how slack I've been..... That's for Wednesday.
Note to self: use Thursday and Friday for school work because you sure as hell don't do it in the evenings!
Now, onto more interesting topics, for me, anyway: after voicing a change of heart, Matt asked me out last night, and I am over the moon right now!!! My reasoning: you don't give up someone that makes you happy.
Began a star Trek marathon there, gave up on it, retired to bed and went home. All in all a rather fantastic night. One thing I notice more than anything is the fact that their family is so much more laid back about everything. Shall endeavour to recreate this a little more at home. This means not being in my room so much. *grumbles* Ah well, shall try.
It's raining yet again. This shall be the third day in a row that I drive 500m to work. Wow I feel lazy.
~Happy~~Happy~~Happy~~Happy~~Happy~~Happy~~Happy~~Happy~~Happy~
Monday, 8 March 2010
Sunday, 7 March 2010
Not much, and then some?
So, it seems i have a new follower. this made me rather excited, almost in the same way that the smell of bacon does - someone's just cooked brekkie and my mouth and stomach are threatening to mutiny just to get at it.
i'm not a HUGE fan of meat, but bacon is the exception.
anyways.......
followers. yes.
welcome :) :)
in other news.....
went to a friend's with April yesterday. I'm not sure what it was, but even without vodka I was in a ridiculously excitable mood, and EVERYTHING was funny. See - I don't need alcohol to be loud and bubbly. Just something to look forward to. This friend of mine is rather fantastic, I reckon he thinks I'm a bit weir, because I don't seem to have a filter on my mouth when I'm around him (this could prove to be a problem later on, as he is rather attractive and I let him know this on a regular basis.) but it was all in good fun :)
Australian Pizza House is rather fabulous, specially the bacon pizza. :D
i'm not a HUGE fan of meat, but bacon is the exception.
anyways.......
followers. yes.
welcome :) :)
in other news.....
went to a friend's with April yesterday. I'm not sure what it was, but even without vodka I was in a ridiculously excitable mood, and EVERYTHING was funny. See - I don't need alcohol to be loud and bubbly. Just something to look forward to. This friend of mine is rather fantastic, I reckon he thinks I'm a bit weir, because I don't seem to have a filter on my mouth when I'm around him (this could prove to be a problem later on, as he is rather attractive and I let him know this on a regular basis.) but it was all in good fun :)
Australian Pizza House is rather fabulous, specially the bacon pizza. :D
Friday, 5 March 2010
overtired for you.
stab of jealousy, over nothing.
what?
i wish that was me.
why?
because this is why i am awake.
so sleep.
no. might be a chance a little later.
shut up and go to bed.
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
"yes"
back to the place where each new day begins, but a little cleaner than before.
nothing changes, except for the silence.
a whine from outside ignored, a rustle of movement heard, acknowledged.
it isn't the lack of speech, of noise, that is so alluring,
its the infinitesimal beat of a heart muscle,
heard from inches away....
and that changes everything.
so back to the place where each new day begins,
to begin a new pursuit, with a second heartbeat.
and thats all it feels like: a heartbeat,
a blink from the face of time, or less.
inhale, exhale.
just breathe, for what is extraordinary about this?
nothing at all, but here, it is unique in our minds,
and that's all that matters, just for the hour:
to become comfortable; and comfort does grow,
like a vine, entangling limbs spreading throughout all which it can reach,
learning, growing, customising to circumstance.
and a smile spreads from the mind and down,
to fingers and toes, lips, nose and eyes.
but for what?
that second heartbeat?
or what it represents?
who knows these days, but returning to regularity in life isn't the same,
it's a different regularity, the colours have shifted
- everything's brighter - faster, blurred.
fast red cars on winding roads, at the beginning, or the end.
back to the place where the day begins,
stretching out on linen, until the framework creaks
inhale, exhale.
a scent remains, the only reminder of the day that has been.
so bury your face in it, and remember:
remember the smiles, the laughs, the whispers and the silence,
the depth of green eyes and the sound of a breath,
flecks of brown, a sense of age
all wrapped up in one single word:
"yes."
nothing changes, except for the silence.
a whine from outside ignored, a rustle of movement heard, acknowledged.
it isn't the lack of speech, of noise, that is so alluring,
its the infinitesimal beat of a heart muscle,
heard from inches away....
and that changes everything.
so back to the place where each new day begins,
to begin a new pursuit, with a second heartbeat.
and thats all it feels like: a heartbeat,
a blink from the face of time, or less.
inhale, exhale.
just breathe, for what is extraordinary about this?
nothing at all, but here, it is unique in our minds,
and that's all that matters, just for the hour:
to become comfortable; and comfort does grow,
like a vine, entangling limbs spreading throughout all which it can reach,
learning, growing, customising to circumstance.
and a smile spreads from the mind and down,
to fingers and toes, lips, nose and eyes.
but for what?
that second heartbeat?
or what it represents?
who knows these days, but returning to regularity in life isn't the same,
it's a different regularity, the colours have shifted
- everything's brighter - faster, blurred.
fast red cars on winding roads, at the beginning, or the end.
back to the place where the day begins,
stretching out on linen, until the framework creaks
inhale, exhale.
a scent remains, the only reminder of the day that has been.
so bury your face in it, and remember:
remember the smiles, the laughs, the whispers and the silence,
the depth of green eyes and the sound of a breath,
flecks of brown, a sense of age
all wrapped up in one single word:
"yes."
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
Refresher for a new start... among other things.
I haven't blogged in a little while, considering the busy busy goings-on around here.
1. Soundwave was spectacular, it was too hot and I got sick from lack of food (though didn't figure this out 'til I got home at midnight), but the bands.... oh the bands.... Paramore, Anti Flag, HIM, AFI, A Day To Remember, Escape The Fate, All Time Low, You Me At Six, Taking Back Sunday, Alexisonfire (not my choice), Motion City Soundtrack........ ahhhhh it was good. And I'll never see some of them again. so, a day well spent with Daniel. I was kinda surprised about how easy it was, considering how drained I've been in past times after seeing him for an hour, let alone 12 straight. He's got me onto Ted's. This could be because it was the coldest mouthful of anything I'd had all day, or because it was actually nice, but yes, if I have to have a beer, that is my one of choice from now on :) Not just that, but it was fun, mucking around, chasing each other despite the heat, being in the mosh pit........ being saved from the mosh by a pair of particularly strong arms (thank you god for that one. =P )... note to short people - always make sure you go moshing with someone that is either strong, tall, or both. Preferably both. Ahhh I miss that kid.
2. Started Uni yesterday, it wasn't that big a fuss, just like being in a group talk at school - everyone had their own chairs, and notes, and watched a slideshow for an hour and a half. Met Alissa and some of her friends there again (though I do think I need to find some of my own, too. This is what tutes are for ^^ )They let us out early, which was nice, which meant I could move to point number three for an extra half hour. The drive there is going to give me the shits eventually, but it's an interesting drive, but the rush our of the carparks onto St Bernards Rd is not fun.... I think from now on I'm going to go on a detour and straight onto Magill Rd ..... would save 10 min of waiting at traffic lights and behind busses. And as for next semester, when I have Human Anatomy 2A in the city......... methinks parking in Magill and taking a bus is the most sensible idea. Anyway......
3. Been spending an unusual amount of time with Matt. I don't mind it, I'm just careful not to make the same mistakes of the past like, *cough* falling asleep on the couch and then getting a call at midnight demanding to know why I'm not at home when it's a 15 min drive between the two. I've missed cuddles more than anything, I realised. I mean, I'm not a touchy feely person by nature, I'm rather stingy with giving any kind of affection, actually... but..... I don't know, I feel safe with him, and I like having some kinda constant (ish) minor contact.
I'm a terrible expression reader, especially with someone like him that inadvertently keeps neutral a lot of the time. I'm noticing he's, really, a lot like Tom in this regard. Time to start practising barrier-breaking again, methinks.
I'm kinda worried about how my unwillingness to date anyone is going to affect this though ('this' being whatever it is that Matt and I are, cause its definitely more than friends, but not to an enormous extent.. so I'm a little befuddled by it all.) Urgh. I feel bad now, mainly because I'm certain that I'm going to end up hurting him without meaning to, and I know for a fact I'm taking him for granted, and he's too fantastic to ever take for granted, lest he suddenly disappear and I'm left going, "...... Fuck. Not again."
But I'm cheating here, because I know he'll read this at some point. Sneaky person that he is, getting into my head via my writing. =) <3
So, I shall stop there, because this is turning into something WAY too much like a personal diary - which it is, but this is getting too personal, just at the moment. This is what talking to friends is for. :)
<3 <3 <3
Here's a Question for you though (two, actually)
1. Why do people rev their engines at 8.45 in the morning for 5 minutes straight when there's nobody to show off to? (Neighbour #1)
2. Parking, specifically parking on the street: is the curb on 'your' side of the street reserved for your and your guests, or are neighbours allowed to park there when they want without asking? (Neighbour #3) **NB: I know that 'legally' they can, but I'm talking about general etiquette here.**
1. Soundwave was spectacular, it was too hot and I got sick from lack of food (though didn't figure this out 'til I got home at midnight), but the bands.... oh the bands.... Paramore, Anti Flag, HIM, AFI, A Day To Remember, Escape The Fate, All Time Low, You Me At Six, Taking Back Sunday, Alexisonfire (not my choice), Motion City Soundtrack........ ahhhhh it was good. And I'll never see some of them again. so, a day well spent with Daniel. I was kinda surprised about how easy it was, considering how drained I've been in past times after seeing him for an hour, let alone 12 straight. He's got me onto Ted's. This could be because it was the coldest mouthful of anything I'd had all day, or because it was actually nice, but yes, if I have to have a beer, that is my one of choice from now on :) Not just that, but it was fun, mucking around, chasing each other despite the heat, being in the mosh pit........ being saved from the mosh by a pair of particularly strong arms (thank you god for that one. =P )... note to short people - always make sure you go moshing with someone that is either strong, tall, or both. Preferably both. Ahhh I miss that kid.
2. Started Uni yesterday, it wasn't that big a fuss, just like being in a group talk at school - everyone had their own chairs, and notes, and watched a slideshow for an hour and a half. Met Alissa and some of her friends there again (though I do think I need to find some of my own, too. This is what tutes are for ^^ )They let us out early, which was nice, which meant I could move to point number three for an extra half hour. The drive there is going to give me the shits eventually, but it's an interesting drive, but the rush our of the carparks onto St Bernards Rd is not fun.... I think from now on I'm going to go on a detour and straight onto Magill Rd ..... would save 10 min of waiting at traffic lights and behind busses. And as for next semester, when I have Human Anatomy 2A in the city......... methinks parking in Magill and taking a bus is the most sensible idea. Anyway......
3. Been spending an unusual amount of time with Matt. I don't mind it, I'm just careful not to make the same mistakes of the past like, *cough* falling asleep on the couch and then getting a call at midnight demanding to know why I'm not at home when it's a 15 min drive between the two. I've missed cuddles more than anything, I realised. I mean, I'm not a touchy feely person by nature, I'm rather stingy with giving any kind of affection, actually... but..... I don't know, I feel safe with him, and I like having some kinda constant (ish) minor contact.
I'm a terrible expression reader, especially with someone like him that inadvertently keeps neutral a lot of the time. I'm noticing he's, really, a lot like Tom in this regard. Time to start practising barrier-breaking again, methinks.
I'm kinda worried about how my unwillingness to date anyone is going to affect this though ('this' being whatever it is that Matt and I are, cause its definitely more than friends, but not to an enormous extent.. so I'm a little befuddled by it all.) Urgh. I feel bad now, mainly because I'm certain that I'm going to end up hurting him without meaning to, and I know for a fact I'm taking him for granted, and he's too fantastic to ever take for granted, lest he suddenly disappear and I'm left going, "...... Fuck. Not again."
But I'm cheating here, because I know he'll read this at some point. Sneaky person that he is, getting into my head via my writing. =) <3
So, I shall stop there, because this is turning into something WAY too much like a personal diary - which it is, but this is getting too personal, just at the moment. This is what talking to friends is for. :)
<3 <3 <3
Here's a Question for you though (two, actually)
1. Why do people rev their engines at 8.45 in the morning for 5 minutes straight when there's nobody to show off to? (Neighbour #1)
2. Parking, specifically parking on the street: is the curb on 'your' side of the street reserved for your and your guests, or are neighbours allowed to park there when they want without asking? (Neighbour #3) **NB: I know that 'legally' they can, but I'm talking about general etiquette here.**
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