Thursday, 12 May 2011

Babies, and making them.

You know what freaks me out?
People I know having babies.
Keeping in mind that the age range of my social circle is around about 4 or 5 years in both directions, it alarms me to see people my age with tiny offspring.
Not in the "people your age shouldnt be having sex let alone children you're barely out of childhood yourself" kind of way, but in the "wow, that could be me in a few years" kinda way.
Motherhood scares and fascinates me. I have no doubt that of the three kiddies, I'll be the one with a tribe of genetic one-halfers following me around.
.... that's possibly the absolute strangest name I've ever used to refer to children...
My boyfriends cousin had a bub, even though the baby's daddy left her for her bestie and has since got another 2 girls knocked up (someone needs to sterilise him before he spreads any more of his bad seed) (should also like to note that this is what i've been told, i mayt have heard it wrong, but either way, you can see my point: he's a yuck.)
I think it's wonderful that she decided to have the baby and give it the best life she can. No doubt, some people will think that its better of for young mums to abort, or give them away or... something.

I often think about how i'd go about it if i found out i had one in the oven. Knowing full well that I can't support 2 people on 300/week, i'l probably abort it. But at the same time...... it would be a piece of me and of (im presuming) my boy. I don't mean to get overly sappy here, but to have a physical representation of how we feel for eachother, and knowing that he'd never walk out on his kid.... I wouldn't give it up for the world.
Not saying i'm going to go and destroy my current lifestyle by creating Livvy2.0,  but still. It's comforting to have one less thing to be afraid of.

One day, though, one day......

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