Thursday, 21 October 2010

my friend once asked me what kind of relationship i wanted. i told him i wanted someone that i could tell anything, that i knew i could get a cuddle from when i needed it, who would hug me anyway when i was really upset or annoyed, who'd tell me when my behaviour wasn't okay, that i could spend time with just living as we do, that wouldn't give up on me, even when i was ready to give up on myself.

he replied 'so, basically, you want someone that'll love you even when youre a nightmare to be around'
'well...... yes'
'good luck with that. i don't think anyone would do that. i certainly wont.'

i have this weird habit of asking the universe for things, and they happen. i have a bean bag, for instance, because i said to mum as i walked into the netball presentation (and the beanbag was the door prize) 'mum, i'd really like to win that' .... and i did.
'i want to get into the honours stream of psych'. i did (albeit not at the uni i preferred but hey, i love unisa atm :)
'i want to go out with so-and-so' ... and i do.... it usually doesnt last for a while, but it happens.
'i would really love more shifts' -- and sure enough, someone gets sick at the hahndorf branch and i get to fill in for three shifts, earning me 400 for the week.
'i'd love a car'.... cue mazda3
'please let it snow' -- 1 of the only 2 times its ever snowed at my house.

'i'd hope that my friend comes out alive and better from her brain surgery'  ... :)
'i hope that the friends i meet at uni are closer than some of my others are' -- :)

'i don't care what happens afterwards, but i wait for the day that they break up' (noone likes hearing how perfect the-girl-after is and how perfect you're NOT) .... aaaaaand they did... 2 days later.

it's like i have the ear of the universe. it's beautiful. because even that boy i was telling my friend about.... he exists. even when we fight, and we get upset at eachother, it's still in his eyes.

dear universe, i would really really like to keep this boy. please help me to better my attitude so that this may be so.
kind regards,

1 comment:

  1. I feel the same way, everything I ask for I get, and that sometimes is bad. I once asked God to get rid of my ex boyfriend who was tormenting me and my new bf at the day he's in a bad car accident. He was fine, just his car was totaled. Anyway I felt really guilty after. Anyway, I didn't learn from my mistakes and I kept asking for stuff and kept getting it- until one day I really got what I asked for but it happened to the wrong person :( I'm sure that's not why he died, but I will live with that forever. So I am glad that you asked the universe to please help better your attitude at the end of your post, I wish I would have done that...I do that now but I wish I would have done it sooner.