Friday, 25 May 2012

One down, Twenty six to go

So Mike left on Monday.  Can't say I'm at all keen to repeat the experience ever again. At least at an airport, if you look like you've been crying people assume you've just said goodbye to someone - much less weird than if it's at a restaurant. It's almost a relief, how few people have actually asked about the whole thing. Then again, his friends are cynical and don't seem to like me, and most of mine either don't know, or don't care. For once, I'm actually preferring it this way - it leaves me alone with my thoughts, and saves me from making a fool of myself... for now.

Turned 20 on Wednesday. Wasn't overly thrilled about the whole thing, but I put that down to apathy and missing Mike than anything else. Didn't go through the 'Woah, I'm not a teenager anymore' thing that a few friends seemed to experience at their birthdays. Mind you, the massage and Versace perfume from the siblings, and the new boots that Mum and I have yet to shop for did make for a nice material distraction from feeling like shit. As did dinner. I've spent so much time on the outside of the family, it was weird, being in the middle of it. Then again, they know I need them at the moment, so Mum's been really good about everything.

Heading into the final week of Hell with uni. Have to go try explain to a course Co-Ord why I haven't started the hardest assignment of my life that, coincidentally, is due on Friday week. Hello no social life for 6 days. If I'm lucky, he'll give me an extension of a few days, but I'm not holding my breath.

At the moment, the only thing keeping me going is the little red numbers in my diary, counting down the weeks until the end of next semester's exams. In other words: the number of weeks that I have to wait until I take my first solo flights, visit the UK for the first time, and get to see Mike and his family again. 26 to go. fml.
The aim: keep so crazy busy that I barely remember what day it is, and then BAM, November rocks up.
I admit, I'm slightly worried that I'll end up bailing on uni, and staying over there. I think Mum's a bit worried about the same thing. Then again, I'm pretty selective with what I say to her purely because I know the trouble it will cause, and it's insanity to leap into what is unequivocally uncharted territory for me. Then again, I was never really altogether 'there'. Still, it's a lot to throw to the side, and unless I win the lottery in the next little while, an international transfer is out of the question. Damn you, exchange rate!!

Time to stop procrastinating and actually go to uni.
'Til next time.

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