Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Better late than never.

This will be the fourth time I've tried to write in the last week. Something keeps holding me back, like some invisible force. It's like running into a doorway covered in gladwrap: the way seems clear then BAM, plastic in your nostrils.

As with most other years, I am attempting for the umpteenth time to get my room into order. Maybe I didnt do it last year because I was so hell-bent on getting out of my parents place, that redecorating an entire room seemed like an expensive waste of time. Upon realising that I earn not nearly enough money to do such a thing, I have resigned myself to the fact that I will need to get some sense of decency into this hell-hole, lest it eat me in my sleep.
Enter: IKEA.
Despite a sad lack of single bed frames, the place is amazing. I've got almost all my stuff picked out, I think I'm going to do a one-item-purchase-at-a-time type deal, so I can see it better, rather than spend 400 hours building the things, realising that they dont all fit in the room, and throwing in the Allen Key all together.

Whats the phrase.... cluttered house, cluttered mind? Something like that?
With the stress and worry of the last few days, plus sleep exhaustion from working pretty much all hours of the weekend, I could really do with a bit of calm cleanliness.

A few conversation in the past month have made me realise some things need to be removed entirely from my life in order to move on and be happy in said movement. Though, it's hard sometimes to maintain that sense of stability and overall calm.
You know why it's hard to be happy? Because it's hard to let go of the things that make me sad. 
But, nine days in the making, comes a new resolution, and a new enthusiasm to kickstart the baby steps, thus ensuring it happens:
  • No more dwelling on the crappy bits, remember to smile, and take stock every day of who and what makes my world a better place to live in.
  • Remember that some things are out of my control: if they are, do not spend all my energy obsessing over them - it just leads to a sour mood and premature exhaustion.
  • Do it: even if it's scary, terrifying. If you are truly mean it (whatever 'it' is), the fear is a springboard, not a barrier.
I'm sure the list will get longer as time goes on, and I discover, as a naturally highly-strung, slightly neurotic person, how to actually achieve these things.
After all - who doesn't want to be a happy, normal, human being?

No comments:

Post a Comment