c.b.f.d.t.t.m.h.w

i have four different drafts saved in my little blog box, but, truth is, i don't really feel like blogging. i'm all blogged out. finally. hahahahah ......no, it'll start again when i'm not all weird inside. this place is a spot for airing my worries, memories, dreams, ideas and annoyances. i've got all this snow between my ears, like that cracky noise you get on a tv withotu reception - it's blocking out my thought process and literary creativity. i don't like it much. it's a calling of other things, and of my conscience finally breaking through with the nagging of 'do your work you procrastinating arse, you'll bomb out if you don't!'

ah well.
oh.... a little black dog just appeared, demanding to know why Rani gets a sleep on my bed and he doesn't. the simple reason: she warms up more of my quilt than he does....... i woke up sometime before the world is awake the other night to find a black furry hairball snoozing by my head. after thinking it was a person, i realised that no human is that small and covered in coarse black hair - must be Gus. of course, he did his best to push me off, but my shoulder is stronger than his pushing attempts and he fell off instead.
=D

Olivia: 1
Gus: 0


in other news, this weather is fantastic. it's making study a whole lot harder, as is the distraction of boys..... speaking of which, i've decided, as much as i hate it with a passion, that my current dilemma is best settled with patience for about a week. i hate being patient, but this is a lesson i must learn, even thoguh it does take self dicipline ..... which i don't have....
eh. summer's coming, and with it comes a boy, i don't know who tho. i've jsut decided it will, cause summer romances, as cliched as they are, sound like fun :D don't you think?

it's an ache, an absence
but is it right to remain open to that which dissolves this ache?
or is it better to ignore it and wait for something else?

i don't like waiting because it makes my mind overthink everything. but, as it is, i still get butterflies from those eyes, and a sense of security from a t-shirt. (don't ask why).
so i sit here, listening to my iPod, which is currently cranking Damn Regret by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. <3 this song muchly.

so i shall post this even thoguh it's hardly finished and rather incoherent. i have an art essay to complete and i will feel much better after i do that. and then i will write again in a more poetic fashion, because those butterflies make me so excited about the world that it's gonna explode some time or another. may as well be constructive.

:)

(for the record, the abbreviation as the title stands for 'can't be fucked due to too much home work')